resolutions

I'm always complaining about where I live; not having enough trees, not having snow, not having enough great places to go, not having enough, not having enough. I've decided that my aim for this year, my new years resolution so to speak.. is to find a little bit of beauty each and every day, where I am now. Sure, there is plenty of beauty overseas but that doesn't mean there isn't any right here. There's beauty on a full moon at the top of my street, with the moon sitting over the water casting light on the ripples and waves. There's beauty on a warm Sunday afternoon standing on my gate, swinging back and forth. There's beauty in happiness and there's beauty in anguish. The other day I was walking back from the hospital when I saw a man leaning against his car, in the car park at the Ronald McDonald House. I can't seem to get that image out of my head. A dozen different scenarios rushed through my head on what he must have just heard for his whole entire being to show so much sadness and stillness in that moment. It's the kind of moment when you banish every single worry and problem in your life because there is nothing that could compare to whatever his must be.

I don't consider myself a saint or a really good person. Far from it really. But, seeing what I saw that day I really, really want to be able to help somehow. Which brings me to my second resolution. Simply to be of help to people this year. And as far as I'm concerned donating to the flood victims isn't enough. I want to actually do something that I can give to a person face to face. I remember this book I read years and years ago and the girl in it took pictures of a bunch of little kids that lived across the street from her, when they would play and muck around without them knowing anyone was watching. She collected a book full of images that captured moments when they were having fun and being stupid and childish and sometimes cheeky, then gave it to their parents years and years down the track. I want to be able to do something like that. Give something meaningful and real. Because there are plenty and plenty of people, like that man on the street that needs a little beauty in their lives right now. If I can give them something to make their lives feel less bleak, then that would feel like an achievement far more rewarding than anything else.